Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Stages of grief

Not that I want my blog to be all about guys..and my "relationship struggles" but that is where I'm at right now..

So I've been thinking a lot about this guy..and what went wrong..bla bla bla. It makes me angry and sad.

The last thing he said was " I need to slow down things..but I dont' want to lose you in my life just because I am not ready for a relationship...I cherish you..we're in this together..."
These words serve as only a sting to my heart right now because i haven't heard from him in almost two weeks. The part of me that longs to trust someone now feels a little less trusting. It scares me how much I fell for him. I think I even told people that I thought he might be the one. What a fool I was. Or at least that's how I feel.
I talk to people about it and the advice is.."let it go, forget it..he's not worth it.. live your life..." All fair advice but I just dont' feel like it right now. The other advice Trust God, he's faithful...always good..that feels a little better to me. Sometimes I work so hard to understand the "why" of everything...and get so frustrated. Why did God bring this man into my life so I could fall for him and care for him, just for it to end like all the rest? I dont' understand and I don't know why. What I do know and have to cling to is that God is ALWAYS ALWAYS faithful to me, even when it hurts. Even when people don't understand and just look at me with a "gosh aren't you over it yet look," God will always understand, care, and is always faithful. He is worthy of my trust. He is the ONLY one that is.

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog- sorry to hear that your holiday season is being tainted by the imperfections of MEN.

    First, I'd suggest reading "He's Just Not That Into You". It's a funny but honest book and in many ways it is also a guidebook on how to let men show you how invested THEY are so we can stop wasting our time on the wrong ones.

    Second, while this sucks. The good news is that something better can come to you once you've removed this "distraction" from your life. Sometimes we have to have the misfits so that we can appreciate how good it is when we are involved in the "right fit".

    Hang in there!