I met this guy about 6 months ago.."remet" and lately it's been a roller coaster. I'm tired. I wonder what the Lord has for me? I wonder how many more roller coasters...of love..I will take a ride on. I'm ready to get off the ride. Lately this guy has been push pull. I think he's scared, scared of letting go and loving someone, scared of being hurt. Who knows, something could still work out, but it's going to take a God intervention and healing in his life.
So in the past I've really been afraid to put myself out there and love someone, but with this guy I gave my all , still guarded my heart but was able to put myself out there in a way that I have never been before. This feels like a huge step for me. But I'm left feeling a bit raw, broken, wondering what God has next for me.
The upside is that I know that God is the strength of my heart and my portion. He is the lover of my soul. My favorite verse reads, " My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 . I think in moments of rawness the Lord can really show up and meet us, so I'm expecting and hoping for that.