So when I think about all the things I need to work on lately, sometimes it overwhelms me. The other day, well yesterday, I hit my limit.
I had a work event and I was trying to get everything set up "just so" with the coffee, refreshments, etc. I had set up everything, stepped back and was like..ahh, ok, perfect with ten minutes to spare. Well, all of the sudden..BAM, the table leg collapses, and all the coffee pot, etc slides down and flew off the table spreading coffee grounds and coffee and donuts everywhere. I looked at my friend preparing the CPR and looked down and just sighed and said, "you know at another time this might have been funny, but now, it's really not funny". There was not a mop to be found and as I was desperately trying to wipe up everything people came in early for the training:)
That's how I have felt this week, just like letting out a big sigh and saying oh well. So many times I have stuck my foot in my mouth, said the wrong thing, sounded selfish, been a bad friend...SIGH! I'm such a work in progress. I've failed at keeping track of all my points, not losing the weight I want to lose, not being the friend I want to be, not being as a productive at work as I want to be, not being ENOUGH for everyone . So many times I feel like I am desperately trying to clean up my stuff only to be left on the floor with a pile of wet coffee stained rags. Bah! Times like these make you want to curl up in the fetal position and start rocking back and forth. Well if it was all about me, maybe I would. It's a good thing it's not.
Romans 8: 5-10 "the mind set on the flesh is death, the mind set on the spirit is life and peace". I was listening to a sermon today and it was talking about Christ's life being the fulfillment of the law. I will never be enough, but I don't have to. Christ died to fulfill the law so we would be able to rest and stop scrambling, so we could just be. During times like these I realize how much I need Jesus because my attitude is so easily impacted by the circumstances around me. I am so often trying to improve myself and be better and get so frustrated when I'm not. What is all this work for anways?
I'm praying for Joy and Peace in the midst of things not always going my way.